Thursday, 31 January 2019

Fortune // 365 Project // Day 31


January is finally coming to a close, and it’s been a weird one. A good one, but a weird one.

Tonight I finally got to go out and catch up with a friend. It was so good to see her. We text everyday and FaceTime quite a bit but nothing beats an IRL interaction.

We had a Chinese and of course we all know the best part of a Chinese is the Fortune at the end. She opened hers and there was nothing. And if I sit towards the east maybe something good night come my way.

Who knows.

But of fortune wants to come my way. I’ll happily accept a little goodness to get me by.

xoxo

Wednesday, 30 January 2019

I'm Letting Go // Project 365 // Day 30


In autumn the trees shed their leaves, they show us how beautiful it can be to let the dead things go. As they turn vibrant colours and blanket the ground a crunch beneath your step. We begin to wrap up warmer as the days become more crisp.

People have there autumns too and now I realise you're the dead thing I need to let go.

An act I wish was easier, but like those regretful days as autumn begins, when you still grip on to summer and leave the house without a jacket, you only end up cold and disappointed.

As summer dwindled to an end and the warm days disappeared so did you, so did a lot of things, and suddenly my life seemed to have shed without any warning, a reality I didn't want to face.

Now amongst the colder days of winter I realise that as seasons change so do the seasons of our lives. And we just wouldn't have been able to face the coldness of winter together. It would have become too bitter. Your blasting chill would have made for a bleaker winter.

The severe frost you create, reminds me that I no longer know you.

I seek warmth elsewhere now.

Spring is on the horizon soon, the world will reawaken soon.

Time changes everything.

xoxo

Tuesday, 29 January 2019

January 92nd // Project 365 // Day 29


This year I attempted to fill my January with things to look forward to and make the month feel a little less depressing.

But here we are January remains to be the month that just doesn’t seem to end. And no matter what I do it always seem to kick me until I’m down.

So this photo is from July 2017. Annexy is a gorgeous place that I urge you all to visit if you get a chance. I’m dreaming up where I want to explore this year to get me through this brutal beginning.

xoxo

Monday, 28 January 2019

Life Lesson // Project 365 // Day 28


Editing your life can be a peculiar task.

Looking back on past moments can make you yearn for the past.

But life only moves forward and everything will help with your inevitable growth.

Sometimes you got to say fuck it and do it whilst you still can.

Other times you have to embrace what’s happening.


xoxo

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Moments Pass // Project 365 // Day 27



Human Emotions aren't real
Time is irrelevant 
This is just a moment 
And Moment Pass

- HR 2016



xoxo

Saturday, 26 January 2019

Friday, 25 January 2019

Conscious // Project 365 // Day 25


I nearly booked a solo trip to London.

This isn't a big scary thing for me, I've down solo trips before. I'm comfortable being alone. Its a life skill I believe everyone should learn.

But I didn't book it.

Not as a solo trip anyway.

Waitress is transferring to West End and since its easier for me to get to London than New York I decided to treat myself. But I created this huge negative narrative in my head of what people might think if I made it a solo venture that I stopped myself from doing so.

I've never been ultra aware of what people think of me . I don't know why but it just never really bothered me, I did my own thing, like the things I liked, did what I wanted to do. I sent seek companionship for every moment of my life. I don't need it.

But recently I've become so self-conscious of how I'm perceived. And it's beginning to stunt the thing I do and don't do I say year to things and no to things and I take into consideration of what other people may think.

But the big thing it effects is my social media presence. I have not felt free to express my self on my youtube channel or blog in so long because I have such small following I think what the point. And then I wonder how pathetic people perceive it if I do try.

So I stop trying.

I'm working to reverse this.

xoxo