Holding on and Letting go // Project 365 // Day 62

I’m currently stuck in limbo with a few people in my life. Torn between feeling like I need to get over it and I just want to talk.

Part of my thinking recently has been well if someone else gave up then why should I try. I have no room for half-assed relationships in my life.  I am no longer willing to be the only one putting energy into something when the other person has already checked out. I’m not going to set myself on fire to keep someone else warm.

So saying goodbye and learning to deal seems like such an obvious choice.

But nostalgia plays dirty games with your mind and tricks you into believing that things were better. And hope starts to make you believe that they could be again if you hold on.

But holding on hurts.

It’s like they get in the car and there safe and warm inside and all you want to be is a passenger, leave the door unlocked, and invite you in and instead your left  clinging onto the outside. And eventually it hurts to much to hold on.

So you have to let go.

There’s hurt in the healing.

But letting go is ultimately freeing.

You’ve got to make the decision to leave when the time comes.

xoxo

Monthly Motivation | Holding On and Letting Go

March has been a weird one. I wanted to be so productive but was struck down by a cold/flu type where I lost my voice and all my energy for a large portion of the month as well as having to work a lot more than I had initially expected. 

So when I decided to gut my room I didn’t realise just quite how long it would take. Or that I would still be here at the end of the month trying to get everything done.  

I was re-evaluating everything that I have kept over the years and what was my reason for doing so I was being ruthless. I’m a not so secret hoarder everything has a memory or an emotional attachment and I can find a reason to keep all most everything… a reason to not let go.  

I’m a lot like that with grudges and friendships. I don’t let go when I should, I don’t hold on when I should.  

So when I was re-evaluating the baggage that was clogging up my room, I began to re-evaluate the baggage that was clogging up my mind. And to properly let go of things. as well as to try and hold on to others whilst I still could.  

It’s a hard process somethings are just to hard to let go of all together, somethings need to be put back in the box for next time.  

But in the end you feel lighter, like a huge weight has been lifted from you. And yeah it might take a little longer than you thought and it might be a little harder than you’d imagine. But you’ll get there and so will I.