... and breath

Where oh where has the time gone. No seriously what happened I’m sure it was July yesterday…

So school started back on the 15th of August and time has been ever fleeting, I actually just cannot believe I am over a month into my last year at high school the summer holidays just seemed to swish by without a trace of an actually summer and in an instant there I was back in my uniform heading down the corridor to class, everything has just gone so fast so far. I feel like I’m in one of those don’t blink situations, because the minute you blink you miss everything.

On top of that I am becoming quite a skilled jugular not with balls, but with life, having to manage work, school, driving lessons, homework, studying and an attempt at a social life in-between. So far I have been able to organise my time well (free periods help a lot) But I miss “me” time, and tonight is the first time in a while where I have been able to sit down for an hour or two and just not worry about what I have to do next, although I did choose to spend this free time researching for a new project. Life has become incredibly demanding.

So in this incredibly demanding life of mine I have decided to go forth and embark on a new adventure, wise idea, it is an entrepreneur competition where you get to make your own company and sell a product and hopefully in the end make a profit, the project requires you to sell share, market your product and in the end write a ten page report and give a presentation. Sounds time consuming, I know. But I’m also incredibly eager to work with my friends on this, have fun and at the same time take this seriously, if it is even possible to have both words in the one sentence.

So even though time is slowly slipping away, and most days my brain isn’t even functioning properly, due to an overload of activities, and even though I always feel tired and even though I don’t even get a rest on the weekends life right now is good. It’s busy and it’s tiresome but I wouldn’t change it. And when it gets too much and I feel swamped I just need to find a quiet moment and breath.
 
         The best person to get something done is a busy person. -Mark Burnett

Don't Forget Me

Don't Forget Me by purplerose23 on polyvore.com

I’m gunna be your next tattoo After all the things imma do to you.

We stood impatiently in a queue with half an hour to wait until they opened the doors. Amusing ourselves with the game Claire invented “uh huh!” a game that consists of going uh huh at hot guys that pass you by (yeah we know superficial but who the hell cares) its easily played on the busy streets of Edinburgh where many a hot guy passes by, wouldn’t suggest it in small towns don’t think it would be half as fun. 

Tonight the 12^th of June 2012 at the HMV Picture House Edinburgh we would be seeing TYLER HILTON! A man whose sexy voice was introduced to me first by the Show One Tree Hill and when I made Claire watch the show last year she quickly became a fan of both show and of Tyler Hilton. So when we found out about his UK tour there was no way that we weren’t getting tickets to see him. So on March 12^th we ordered our tickets a whole 92 days before the event took place. 

 The stage pre show

As we stood in the hall taking pictures of the stage we were so close to the stage with a perfect view. Alex Goot was the first act on stage, someone I admit I had never heard of before, his set was fantastic and by the sounds of it the audience agreed with me. 

Alex Goot during his amazing set

In the small break after Alex Goot came of the stage. We heard a girl behind us turn to her friend and say “When is Chris Keller coming on?” we couldn’t help but laugh and it took everything in me and Claire not to turn around and tell her that Chris Keller was fictional (let’s all let her keep believing that he’s real might break her heart otherwise)

 The Incredible Tyler Hilton

Then Tyler Hilton graced the stage just him and his guitar walked up to the mic and said “Hey guys, my name is Tyler, thanks for coming out here tonight” before he started to sing Kicking my heels. It’s when you see him live that you realise that though his recordings are good they do not do him justice he is simply phenomenal live way better that I could have ever imagined. His set was amazing her played Kicking My Heels, Jenny, Ain’t No Fooling Me, You’ll Ask for Me, Prince of Nothing Charming and Loaded Gun is set was short and I could have listened to him all night but I had never been happier to see someone live. 

                                  Tyler Hilton coming on stage and singing Kicking my Heels

Boyce Avenue where the main event tonight as it was there tour, a band that Claire and I listened to after we had bought tickets for tonight’s gig and very quickly fell in love with their music. There covers of some songs are way better than the originals. When Alejandro, Daniel and Fabian Manzano got on stage it was magical the crowd got wilder (if that was even possible after how they had reacted to Tyler Hilton) and there set was incredible with a nice mixture of their fantastic covers and there amazing original works. 

 Alejandro from Boyce Avenue

As the night was ending Claire and I went to the back of the room to queue for the meet and greet as promised by Tyler Hilton and I am so glad we did because after being squished for fifteen minutes the people working at HMV Picture House said that there could only be one more minute of meet and greet and I understand that they have to be shut by a particular time but I would have been so disappointed if we didn’t get to meet Tyler fortunately we did and he is the nicest, because of time we couldn’t get a picture with him and he was incredibly apologetic but he wanted to sign as many fans items as he could.

 Tyler Hilton signing our stuff

It was an amazing night and Claire had caught a Bouce Avenue Guitar pick, we both got our t-shirts and tickets signed by the one and only Tyler Hilton and went home on a total high after having such an incredible night. Everything was fantastic, wish I could do it all again.

Claire's signed t-shirt

Claire and her signed ticket

  

The guitar pick claire managed to catch when thrown out to the audience

Me and Claire post show

My signed Prince of nothing charming t-shirt

My ticket signed by Tyler Hilton

I never feared the unexpected until I found myself in this peculiar place.

As my last year of high school approaches I am left with one of the hardest question I may ever face. What will I do with my life? There is an undoubted pressure for my teenage self to have the answer to this question and the answer is simple. I don’t have a clue. And I am getting increasingly worried I may never know the answer to the quetion.

My younger self was filled with ideas though, Ages five through thirteen I had a great intent on being in some form of medical profession, paramedic being my favourite option. I even took first aid classes. But for some reason one day my intent of entering the medical field just stopped. There was no defining moment where I no longer wanted to become a paramedic or a doctor or a nurse or anything else it was just no longer what I wanted to do. And that was fine people are allowed to change there minds and I still had plenty of time to pcik what I wanted to do.

Scattered throughout my childhood were jobs like actress, singer, director, writer, fashion designer, music producer. I believe all children must go through a phase or phases in my case where you dream the immpossible and for some of these children the immpossible will be possible but in my case it was never to be. In my head at the time these were realistic targets, of course I could win an Oscar it would be easy really.  Yeah… the dreams never lasted to long but they were always there. 

For a while I wanted to be some form of therapist, to me it sounded like an ideal job, to be able to help people trough situations to be able to help and have an impact in people’s lives. But if you ever met me you’d realise what a sarcastic bitch I am and to be honest I’d probably end up telling someone to go jump out a window if they really annoyed me.  Probably not the advice a therapist should be giving a patient.  It may be the wisest choice I have made by not continuing to try and become one.

And the job most recently been on the top of my list was social work, specialising in children.  A good choice if I do say so myself a reachable goal I looked out what I needed to study where I could study it. The works. But recently my mind has been undecided.  It is no longer what I want to be, or is it, I'm not really sure.

Maybe want isn’t a factor I should be looking at when I consider my future. Practicality may be one,  pay may be another, the chance of finding a job or getting into a course.  In an ideal world I would know what I want to be, I’d get there, yeah I’d have to work hard,  but I’d get there, I would enjoy my job and the people I work with and I’d look forward to everyday. But that’s an Ideal world and I definitely don’t live in it.

The worst thing is when people around me have their lives planned out. They know what they’re going to do and on track to it, I guess I’m jealous that they have it all sorted and my life just feels like a mess.  ONE BIG MESS. 

So I don’t have a ten year plan or a five year plan, or a year plan, I barely know what I'm doing when I'm doing it.  I’m not about to conquer the world, although it's not completly out of the question. The future is big and dark and scary and unknown. But I’ll get by, I hope, little by little I’ll figure out what I need to be doing.  The good thing about not having a plan for the future, I sure as hell will not be disappointed about what happens when it comes.

I won't give up

H.A.T.E.R.S ... What it really means

Haters are always going to hate its how you handle it that matters. Don't let the lone voice of a  hater in a crowd tear you down. Why let it affect you when there are so many people out there that love you.

Don't EVER change who you are for anyone. Because if someone truely likes you there is nothing about you that should need to be changed.

Remeber to spread love and not hate. Love is Love and LOVE IS LOUDER.