You Will Be Found // Project 365 // Day 59

Even when the dark comes crashing through

When you need a friend to carry you

And when you’re broken on the ground

You will be found

Today the pre-sale tickets for Dear Evan Hansen’s West End run went on sale, and oh my god was it stressy when the email didn’t come through at noon with the link I started doubting that I had signed up for it in the first place. I had got someone to cover the first hour of my shift. As I was meant to start at 12 so I could buy the tickets.

I got ready, was driven up to work all whilst making sure the screen didn’t go off and lose my place in the queue. My dad held my phone whilst I went through the back so I wouldn’t lose signal. And when I came back out and had to start my shift and my dad had to leave to go to work. I thought that was me I wasn’t going to get them.

I work customer facing and I couldn’t keep up with keeping my phone on the screen then purchasing my tickets.

My friend was going through the till at the time and when I poured about my predictement offered to stand with my phone for a bit. Forty minutes later they had left with my phone for a while and come back. With 10 minutes to go they stayed near so I could tell them my sign in details. My manager lurking so I couldn’t be seen to be to involved. They had my card and I watched on panicked

But thanks to some amazing people in my life who cover shifts, chauffeur me about and wait in virtual queues for me. I will be attending Dear Evan Hansen in November.  I’m so greatful and undeserving to have folk who help me out like this.

I can not convey how nerve wracking the wait or elating the moment when I finally got the tickets was.

xoxo

Dandelion Souls // Project 365 // Day 58

Only the winds knows 

Where it will carry our dandelion souls

- a.r.asher -

What the jukebox made Became the soundtrack of our lives // Project 365 // Day 57

Looking back on November, my initial thoughts are not how truly torn apart I felt through the month. How split emotion wise I was. How lost I really felt.

I think of the good nights and good friends, the sing alongs, the shots and the straight whisky.

I’m really thankful for that.

It feels like a small victory and watching the month back truly made me smile.

xoxo

They Say I Did Something Bad // Project 365 // Day 56

Sometimes people pretend 

you're a bad person so they

don't feel guilty 

about the things they did to you

Over the last few months I have realised that there will always be something else around the corner. In the recovery of last year there have been a lot of set backs mainly focused on what other people say or perceive about me.

People will villainies you to make themselves look better, or feel better. They will twist stories and events and you will be left trying to piece together what you know to be true. 

People will hurt you further to protect themselves. 

They go from people you once knew well, to strangers you don't recognise.  

They will say you did something bad, to cover up their own actions.  

xoxo

The Seven Year Itch // Project 365 // Day 55

They say around seven years in a long term relationship is where the unhappiness or discontentment settles in.

Where the parties look outside their situation to fill a void. To add some excitement to everything.  

The same can be said for a lot in life.  We can all to often find ourselves stuck in routines. Creature of habits. Creating our own unhappiness. 

And instead of creating a better situation and communicating what's causing the contention. We seek new horizons. 

Though this has been disproved and that there really is no magic number of how many years, it's a phrase that really no longer means exactly 7 years or is exclusive to relationships. 

I have been with the company I work with for 7 years and though I have struggled in the past. I have really hit a wall recently.  It's getting harder to justify why I'm staying. 

And no good reason to stay... is a good enough reason to go. 

xoxo

All We See is Sky For Forever // Project 365 // Day 54

All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way

- Dear Evan Hansen - 

xoxo

The Flat Earthers Were Here // Project 365 // Day 53

Recently the topic of flat earthers was brought up at a night out, I don’t know how we got there. But I was like nobody can honestly believe can they.  And my friend talked about her drive to work and there was always graffiti on this one section of her journey advertising it.

So after my climb up to the top of The Lighthouse. And was hit with just views for miles.  I burst out laughing when this tiny bit of graffiti came into my view.

I believe its 100% there to poke fun. It made me giggle for sure.

xoxo

The Lighthouse // Project 365 // Day 52

The other day I wandered into Glasgow to do my usual trip to the cinema, I have a Cineworld unlimited card so that I can do more of one of my favourite things and have found it to be such a worth while investment.

Because of setting myself this challenge and already haven taken lots of shots of things upon my main route I had a quick google of things I could discover nearby. And I was shocked to realise how close this was and I had no idea.

This Lighthouse sits on Mitchell Street formerly the Herald Building was Charles Rennie Mackintosh   first public commissioned building. And I honestly (despite the signage) had no idea it was there and free for the public to wander around a there on accord.

These winding stairs lead to a stunning view.

So I highly recommend if you have some spare time to take a gander.

xoxo 

Are You Reelin' in the Years // Project 365 // Day 51

Your everlasting summer 

You can see it fading fast 

So you grab a piece of something 

That you think is gonna last 

But you wouldn't know a diamond 

If you held it in your hand 

The things you think are precious 

I can't understand 

Are you reelin' in the years 

Stowin' away the time 

Are you gatherin' up the tears 

Have you had enough of mine

- Steely Dan - 

xoxo

The Universe and Me // Project 365 // Day 50

Stop acting so small. 

YOU are the UNIVERSE 

In Ecstatic motion.

Set your life on fire. 

Seek those who fan 

your flames. 

-RUMI

xoxo

If the Sinister Happens // Project 365 // Day 49

I walked through this close the other morning genuinely terrified of my own shadow. I’m getting jumpy in my old age.

This week I was helping my mum changed the mortgage contract or something. I don’t know. But after I completed the application it listed other services that you might need and one of them was Life Insurance.

After speaking to my mum I realised that it was another one of these adult things I should really start looking into. So started to do some research gave up pretty quickly.

But today I got a phone call from someone trying to follow up and help me through it and asked me why I was looking into it. And the truth of the matter is. Just incase something sinister happens. Funerals can be expensive and I want to make sure that it’s taken care of.

Not something I ever thought I’d be seriously looking into at 23 but then also why not. We talked about other options that make a lot of sense to add to a policy like critical illness and income protections. And I’m waiting to hear back some quotes before making decisions.

But it’s another adulting milestone I feel like I’m accomplishing.

xoxo

the fall // Project 365 // Day 48

Oh, how long ago October seems now, I had an early start at work on Friday and we realised that it seemed to get light a lot earlier than it has been and I realised that spring is just around the corner and I don't know what happened with time. I feel like it's been no time at all since Autumn shed the leaves from the trees.

October was such a good month, its up on my channel now! So check it out... jam packed with friends and fun, I went to a David Byrne Concert and a movie night at an abandoned warehouse, and went on the most autumny walk I could.

xoxo

Morning Thoughts Late at Night // Project 365 // Day 47

I don’t understand morning people
How do you function when the sun has not risen
How can you leave the comfort of your bed whilst it’s still dark
On so little sleep how do you survive.

Oh I’m not made for the early mornings.

xoxo

Magnifying Glass // Project 365 // Day 46

Lies are ants

The truth is the sun 

And questions are a magnifying glass

waiting to be picked up by the curious 

- Craig Stone -

xoxo

On My Way // Project 365 // Day 45

Do you ever walk passed something so often you don’t realise how incredible it is. I was on my way home and passed this which is just down from Tingle ( my fave shot bar ) and realised this was honestly one of the greatest things I’ve seen and didn’t appreciate it.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I took my self out for a little me date, I got my brows waxed, treated myself to a new foundation, wandered and took some photographs and saw two films.

And let me tell you other than the fact my skin currently hates me I feel reset. .

The two films I went to see were Boy Erased and  Instant Family so I’ve had a little cry. I would recommend everyone to see these films.

Boy Erased is heart wrenching and based on a true story, there’s insight into what they do within gay conversion therapy and parental rejection and it’s just heavy. But such an important watch.

Instant Family is funny and heart warming and boy did I sob. SOB! I don’t even want kids and I was persuaded that fostering despite the trials and tribulations was the most rewarding and obvious choice.

So go see a movie or two.

xoxo

Galentines Day! // Project 365 // Day 44

I love a candid photo when it comes to people, I think when reflecting on moments in our life you get the rawest reflection when it comes to candid.

This pic is honour of Galentines day. Which really sits at the wrong side of Valentines give me the 15th when chocolate and flowers are reduced not the 13th when they are still very much overpriced.

But I’ll celebrate the great females in my life any day. The ones who are up for the antics that get us into trouble, the shots we shouldn’t have, the rants we sit through and the 3am life chats where we put the world to rights.

The ones that are there for the highs the lows and the in between days where we are just doing errands in Tesco.

For the relationships and moments we don’t broadcast over social media. Because not everything has to be. It’s not more valid if we share it.  It’s not more real if everyone else knows about it.

For the hours on the phone or FaceTime or texting because meeting up isn’t always an option.

And most importantly for the ones who don’t leave, the ones that stick even when times are hard and it be easier to cut ties. For the ones who stick no matter what and understand that we aren’t always going to be on the same path. But we will always be rooting for each other no matter what.

xoxo

Take it in // Project 365 // Day 43

I’m trying to take in the last couple of days. Life seemed to happen at an excelarated speed. And I’m trying to keep up with what’s been happening.

We’ll get there.

In the mean time I’m getting better at posting over on my YouTube channel. September 2018 is finally up and once I get to the end of the year. I hope to make a range of content.

September certainly has the most somber of vibes when it comes to content from last year.

Check it out.

xoxo

I’ve had a DAY // Project 365 // Day 42

Today’s been an absolute shocker from the moment the flocked ticked over to signal a fresh 24 hours.

It’s over now. But not really at all.

I need a cocktail or a hot bath.

But will settle with a good nights rest.

xoxo

I was born to endure this kind of weather // Project 365 // Day 41

august is up on my channel

I have so much to say and I can't articulate any of it

and that's so frustrating

this too shall pass

xoxo

I'm more lost than I am found // Project 365 // Day 40

I haven't talked about the actual photo for a little bit in this project, this photo I debated putting up because I'm in it. But I set up the camera, left it on record, grabbed the pic and edited it. So though I'm in the shot I took the shot and it counts.

It also turned out wildly better than the photo that was meant to be taken of us.

July 2018 of my Time of the Month Series is up, this was the month where I lost interest in editing, how many folk can truly say they have footage of the day there life went tits up.

I do and we looked like we were having a spectacular time. It's weird. And it stopped me from editing it for a while. I'm hopefully back into the swing of things.

But it did leave me feeling really low and lost for a while, it's part of the issue when you make your like your creative project.

xoxo

I’ll Never Send and You’ll Never See // Project 365 // Day 39

To you on your birthday. Though I won’t send this and you won’t read it. I’m putting it to the universe so it no longer sits in my head;

I hope these nexts 365 days bring you good times and great memories. 

So weird to think how different life was this time last year. It has been hard for me and I look optimistically out towards the rest of the year  and believe once again there will be better times ahead. I hope as the sun spins and life moves on that you are living your best life. 

I’m sorry that our friendship didn’t survive the trials and tribulations that life throws. And though I still don’t really understand what happened and why. To move on with life I need to stop pondering and realise that everything happens for a reason. 

Maybe this season of life wasn’t meant for us. 

Maybe I did something bad. 

I’m grateful for the moments that life did bless us with. Which is why the end was truly a challenging time for me. 

Here are some life lessons that I learned or relearned: 

1. you won’t always get answers, learn to accept this and move on anyway
2. Peoples perception of you is not who you are. You know the true you. 
3. What people say of you is a reflection of them and not of you. 
4. Take a leaf out of Emily Gilmore’s book which is really Marie Kondo’s method and if it doesn’t bring you joy get rid of it. 

There’s probably more. I’ve contemplated a lot on sending you a message at all. If your reading this. Then I have. And that’s a lot for me. To put myself out there. It’s like shouting into the oblivion. Knowing that even if anyone here’s a sound, it’s already too late. 

That’s deep. 

I don’t know how to make this lighthearted, because it does all feel heavy. 

So back to the original message. Happy Birthday. Your another year older. Time is all too fleeting and in a moment everything will change. So grab onto chances and let roads take you to where you don’t even know you need to go. 

I hope your excited for this next chapter in your life. I hope it treats you well and that you fill it with all the things that you want to do. 

Enjoy your next spin round the sun. 

xoxo

Do You Here the People Sing // Project 365 // Day 38

Oh London you mystical, magical place. I haven’t even made my first trip down and have already booked a show for later in the year.

Lea Miserables is doing a concert edition with Carrie Hope Fletcher, Michael Ball, Alfie Boe and Matt Lucas and with a line up like that I couldn’t say no. It honestly like someone thought what my dream cast would look like.

 Les Mis is such a musical event it’s powerful and stays with you long after you leave your seats. I’ve seen amatures do it wonders, watched it on the West End with Carrie Hope Fletcher as Eponine and seen it on Broadway. I have a deep love for this show.

I had already been considering going down in November as that’s when Dear Evan Hansen is being said to start and now that’s it I’m off down no matter what.

xoxo 

A Lifetime Ago // Project 365 // Day 37

I have finally got around to continuing my youtube series Time of the Month 2018,  June got uploaded this morning and its been so weird, my life kinda fell apart in July last year, and in the midst of that and trying to pick myself back up again I stopped being interested in reflecting on what was.

But decided I wanted to finish this project anyway. Even though it truly feels like a lifetime ago.

June was a great month, I ventured off to Prague to see out 22 and welcome in 23, there is so much to do and see there and I'm very glad for my city break there.

I had a professional photography job and celebrated my friends graduation approximately 2354 times.

There was very random nights chucked in and summer felt very much in swing and it was grand.

To top it off we went to see Tyler Hilton and Kate Voegele after having cocktails outside on what was the hottest day in Scotland last year.

Check it out!

xoxo

learn from your mistakes // Project 365 // Day 36

apprends de tes erreurs

 xoxo

You Dont Know Where To Go // Project 365 // Day 35

You want to leave but you don’t know where to go

You’re afraid of what you’ll miss but think about what you’re missing staying in a place you don’t like. 

The world is so much bigger than that town and that job 

and the love you think you lost 

There is someone out there who wants to love you 

if you find the courage to leave 

xoxo

Some Roads Lead Nowhere // Project 365 // Day 34

Some roads lead nowhere
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore them
You’ll learn lessons on the way
But make sure when you hit the end
To keep exploring
And not be stuck at a dead end

xoxo

You’re Gonna be Golden // Project 365 // Day 33

But if we believed

In all the things they said

When we were young

I'd be a broken man

Full of broken dreams

With a broken heart

-Wakey Wakey- 

xoxo

Tracks // Project 365 // Day 32

Getting to Day 32 feels like such an achievement for me. Without setting myself up for failure I was almost sure that I’d forget to post or give up.

1 month has been completed which means I only have to keep this up for another 11. But I’m taking it day at a time. And I’m still enjoying myself for the most part.

Now that the date is the same as the day number is going to be hard keeping track! But I’ll get there.

xoxo