I nearly booked a solo trip to London.
This isn't a big scary thing for me, I've down solo trips before. I'm comfortable being alone. Its a life skill I believe everyone should learn.
But I didn't book it.
Not as a solo trip anyway.
Waitress is transferring to West End and since its easier for me to get to London than New York I decided to treat myself. But I created this huge negative narrative in my head of what people might think if I made it a solo venture that I stopped myself from doing so.
I've never been ultra aware of what people think of me . I don't know why but it just never really bothered me, I did my own thing, like the things I liked, did what I wanted to do. I sent seek companionship for every moment of my life. I don't need it.
But recently I've become so self-conscious of how I'm perceived. And it's beginning to stunt the thing I do and don't do I say year to things and no to things and I take into consideration of what other people may think.
But the big thing it effects is my social media presence. I have not felt free to express my self on my youtube channel or blog in so long because I have such small following I think what the point. And then I wonder how pathetic people perceive it if I do try.
So I stop trying.
I'm working to reverse this.
xoxo
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